


Poor Queer Werewolf

by lovegccds



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Asexual Peter Pettigrew, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Confusion, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sirius Black, M/M, Making Out, Minor Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Questioning, Sexual Tension, Slightly Oblivious Remus Lupin, remus is also like are you kidding me another thing to worry about, sirius has adhd, sirius is like yeah i am in love with you and remus is like what, tension so thick u can cut it with a knife
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26692042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovegccds/pseuds/lovegccds
Summary: Sirius needs some "advice" for his apparent friend being in love with a guy who just so happens to be his best friend and Remus questions his entire identity.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 86





	Poor Queer Werewolf

Remus sat on his four poster bed with his advanced potions book propped up on his lap as he lazily flicked through the pages. The room was slightly chilly from the brisk nighttime wind outside. He shivered despite wearing multiple sweaters and a hot tea that he was holding in his left hand. Remus would be staying at Hogwarts with Peter for the holidays while James and Sirius went back to the Potter’s house. It wasn’t right of him to say he was jealous of the Potter family, but with his Mother dead and his Father constantly at his Ministry job, holidays weren’t what he would call fun. 

The only other person in the room was Sirius who decided to skip dinner, and Remus wasn’t feeling hungry anyway. It was ironic that he was the one telling everyone else to eat but wouldn’t do it himself, but he supposed that you don’t always have to listen to your own advice.

The slight silence between the two of them was comfortable and quite nice. Sirius was quietly tapping his foot on the ground and rolling his quill between his fingers absentmindedly. Sirius has always needed to be doing something at all times, there were few times where he wouldn’t be playing with something or fidgeting with his hands in class. Remus never commented on it, he felt like it would be rude to do such a thing. The brunette’s focus always seemed to be on Sirius, he couldn’t explain why but he found him fascinating. He was a complete idiot yet so intelligent at the same time. After he’d been disowned it was almost like he became a new person who was more confident and sure of himself. It only made Remus’s strange infatuation with him grow. 

Remus knew what being queer was, he wasn’t a complete dunce. Some of his friends were queer. But he knew he couldn’t be because he’s liked girls before, so it didn’t make much sense to him. Despite saying the idea was ridiculous and that he’d never bring it up with himself again, he tended to do just that. The last thing he needed was to be poor, queer, _and_ a werewolf. It was as if he was capable of gaining every status one wouldn’t want to have. 

He soon realized he’d read about 2 pages of his textbook without taking in a single word. Remus sighed and flipped back to where he last remembered he was and tried to focus on it again, but he knew it was a lost cause. He sat up to place the teacup on the saucer that was sat on his bedside table and closed the book. Sirius glanced over at him, seemingly hesitating before standing up and walking the few feet over to Remus.

Remus looked up and furrowed his eyebrows, “What is it, Padfoot?” He asked. Sirius sat down at the edge of the bed, still twiddling his fingers. “Is something the matter?”

Sirius pursed his lips and turned to fully face Remus but kept his eyes looking away, he seemed to be taking time to choose his words right. “So...there’s this...friend... that I have,” Remus made a small noise letting him know to continue. “He’s feeling conflicted.”

“About what? Who is it? Is it James or Peter?” Remus scanned Sirius’s face, looking for any clues, but his eyes were still diverted and looking at the window. Sirius slightly shook his head. “Frank then? It’s his last year here so it would make sense-“

“No it’s not Frank. Listen I can’t tell you who it is exactly because...it’s private. I just need advice.” Sirius still looked stiff and tense, was whatever this friend had going on really that serious? “So this...friend of mine...he’s conflicted about his feelings.”

Remus hummed in understanding, knowing he’d been having strange unexplainable feelings about the same person who’s sitting across from him. “Feelings about what?”

“About another person. Another boy, actually,” Sirius quickly corrected himself then squinted his eyes as though he had said too much. “I was wondering if you could help me help him? Like give me advice to give to him, you know?”

Remus shrugged and leaned back in the bed a bit, propping himself up with his arms. How could Remus possibly help Sirius with his friend’s problem if he couldn’t even figure out his own? 

“I wish I could...but seeing as I like girls I wouldn’t exactly...understand.” He breathily said and raised his eyebrows. The once comfortable silence now felt very tense and possibly even awkward. Remus also now diverted his eyes from Sirius. Sirius said nothing for a while.

“Alright, that’s fine. I didn’t really expect much. I’ve been really confused—er—what to tell him, you know?” Sirius quickly stood back up and made his way to the door. “Maybe I’ll go ask James—who is at dinner. So I will be going now.”

Remus eyed Sirius who quickly nodded once then quietly shut the door behind him. All of a sudden, a fluttery feeling came into his chest. What was that and who was this friend of his? Sirius’s friends mostly consisted of the four of them, Frank Longbottom, Alice Fortescue, Lily Evans, Marlene Mckinnon, Dorcas Meadowes, and Mary MacDonald. Frank was already out of the equation as him and Alice have been together since their fourth year. Marlene and Dorcas got together last year, but them along with Mary are all girls. James has been in love with Lily since he first saw her, and Peter didn’t seem interested in relationships at all. There wasn’t anyone he could really be talking about, right? 

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a soft thud on the door, it definitely wasn’t a knock, though. Remus slowly got up and made it to the door. He hesitated a second before turning the knob and pulling inwards to find Sirius scrambling up off the floor. He stared at Remus with wide eyes, his hair looked slightly messier likely from being pulled at. 

“Sirius? I thought you were going to James?”

Sirius made his lips into a thin line and looked away again. “I did, he...he said he couldn’t help me either. So I came back here.”

Remus swore it had only been a couple of minutes, “That fast?” He asked while tilting his head to the side. Sirius sighed and leaned back on the stone railing, almost refusing to make direct eye contact. Remus gave him a pitying look, clearly something was wrong. “Sirius,” He said softly, nodding his head to the door as a silent way of asking him to come back in the room. 

Sat down in the same spots as they were only minutes ago, Remus felt like the answer was on the tip of his tongue. But what was it? Something was very clearly off with Sirius and Remus wished he was the comforting type like the other was. Perhaps he could figure it out quicker then. 

“I think I can help your friend with his problem.” Sirius’s head perked up and his eyebrows shot up as well, making him look (ironically) like a puppy. He looked almost hopeful in a way. “Is...is this friend of yours...are his feelings conflicted over a best friend?”

Sirius paused, once again taking his time to find words to use, “Yes. He told me that he’s afraid of saying anything...because...because it could ruin their friendship again. And—And he doesn’t want that to happen. They’ve been friends since first year and have been through a lot together. Would it be selfish to love your best friend despite him not feeling the same way?” Remus’s lips parted to respond but Sirius only kept going. “Would that—alright say you’re the person that he’s in love with. If this best friend of yours were to say he was in love with you, what would you say to that?”

Remus could feel things clicking in his mind, things started to make sense and... _oh_. 

_Oh_.

He knew he wasn’t saying anything, but he couldn’t. It suddenly all made sense. Every glance, every smile, every attempt to make his life easier. Sirius was the one to find out he was a werewolf, and how could he without paying close attention to Remus? Sirius was the one to suggest that they become animagi so he wouldn’t have to suffer every full moon anymore. When Sirius betrayed him last year, he looked and acted like a ghost for months. He spoke to no one, and felt like he didn’t have the right to. This year, the two of them had gotten close again. Sirius made every attempt to make sure Remus trusted him. Remus looked down and nodded to himself. 

“I...I’m not too sure what I would—er—what I would say say—well,” Remus didn’t know why he was messing up on his words, his palms felt clammy and sweaty so he rubbed them on his thighs, “I would say to my best friend that...that I’d...consider it.”

“Consider what?” Sirius replied back almost immediately looking directly at Remus, their roles now reversed. Remus didn’t even know what he was saying, it seemed to come out like he’d been keeping something in him he wasn’t even sure of.

“I’d consider what my feelings were too. And...and if I felt the same way I’d—I dunno-“ Remus cut himself off, realizing he’d been speaking at barely a whisper. Every noise in the room felt amplified as he swallowed a lump in his throat. Sirius suddenly looked more put together than Remus did, like _he_ wasn’t the one who just indirectly confessed that he was in love. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath, trying his best not to look at Sirius who’s eyes were baring right through him.

“You’d what?” Sirius spoke softly but Remus felt like his world had been flipped on its head. He didn’t understand. Could he like girls and Sirius at the same time? Did he like Sirius or was it the fact that he had just been confessed to and he was nervous? He did admit he had a strange infatuation with Sirius but he didn’t think it was anything romantic. Had he ever liked guys before and not realized it? How long had he now been sitting across from Sirius looking like a complete idiot?

Remus felt brave enough to look at Sirius. Green and grey eyes were locked onto each other and all went still. Everything felt completely focused on the two of them as if nothing else existed. There was no incoming war, no person there that could walk in and interrupt them, there was no one but Remus and Sirius. Remus exhaled slowly, his eyes felt as though they were shouting at him to look away. But he didn’t. 

“I would say to him...I would say that I think I feel the same way,” Remus could barely even hear himself and wondered if Sirius did, but by the look on his face he could tell he had.

Sirius was the first to break eye contact to look at the bed that suddenly felt like it was a mile long. He supposed Sirius felt the same way when he moved himself closer, almost too close so their knees were nearly touching. 

“Remus?”

“Sirius?”

Sirius’s eyes were flickering from his eyes to his lips without meaning to, but Remus got the message. He placed his hand on Sirius’s and directed it to his own cheek then let go, leaving only Sirius’s there. He felt his heartbeat hammering in his throat as Sirius let out a shaky breath. 

“...Can I?” He whispered almost incoherently. Remus nodded once, feeling like he could explode in that very spot. Sirius swiped his thumb over Remus’s lips and took a glance at his face before letting his eyes flutter shut to close the space between them. Remus didn’t think his heart could get any faster but oh was he wrong. He never liked the expression but his stomach felt like butterflies as his best friend had his lips on his. The brunette put a trembling hand on Sirius’s jaw to deepen the kiss for a moment before Sirius pulled away. 

They both looked breathless but Remus looked into Sirius’s eyes and knew that one kiss wouldn’t suffice as both felt extremely needy. So much more confidently than before, Remus put both of his hands on the other’s face and kissed him again but with more intensity. Everything felt so right and Remus wondered why he never knew what he felt. He moved his right hand up into Sirius’s long black hair and carded through it. Sirius let out a small sigh into Remus’s mouth and he was completely gone. 

Sirius started to lean back into the bed until he was propped up on his elbows. Remus detached their lips from each other to stare at Sirius with a flushed face, messy hair, and bright pink lips. At once he realized the position they were in, with Sirius gazing at Remus with love struck eyes, he felt as though he could fall apart. Every emotion he’d ever been confused by, every fluttery feeling he’d had, every too-fast heartbeat, they all made sense. Remus was kneeled in between Sirius’s legs while he leaned down to kiss him again, Sirius meeting him halfway.

Their breathing became quicker and deeper, so much so that Remus could feel Sirius’s chest rise and fall. Sirius shot his hand up to the back of Remus’s head in order to bring them impossibly closer. Remus ran his hands down Sirius’s sides and kept them planted on his waist and hips, feeling something flare inside his chest. He pulled his lips away from Sirius’s with a gasp and caught his breath before quickly going to kiss Sirius’s neck. The shorter let out a shaky exhale and kept his hand on the back of Remus’s head, slightly grasping at his hair.

Remus felt so hot but he couldn’t get enough of Sirius. He kissed down his neck and back up to his lips again for a long slow one. Sirius was slightly sweating underneath him and tugged harder at Remus’s hair. He didn’t know how much more he could take.

They were so lost in each other they didn’t hear the creaking of the wooden door opening and a familiar messy black haired boy with impaired vision walking inside.

“Hey you two I brought you-“ 

***CRASH***

Remus quickly removed his lips from Sirius’s gasping for air and looked at James. He wore a funny expression and there was a large shattered plate on the floor. 

“Uh...Hey Prongs...” Sirius who was completely out of breath, awkwardly turned his head over to his best friend and gave a small wave but quickly put it away. Remus scattered off of Sirius in seconds, standing up and suddenly realizing that this was his bed. 

James stood frozen in place for the next minute, just repeatedly moving his head back and forth to look at Sirius and Remus. Both with horribly messy hair, swollen lips and wide glossy eyes. “So...uh...are you two like a Marlene and Dorcas thing or...?”

“Are you asking if I’m queer, Potter?” Sirius smirked, still breathless while he continued to lay down on Remus’s bed like he owned it. 

James spluttered out, “I-Well...er—okay so. Perhaps?” He smiled slightly. “Because I’m okay with that! There’s nothing wrong with it, you know I’m not like—judgmental or anything. I mean Moony is literally a werewolf so-“

“Yes, Prongs I am. Moony over here I have no clue this is a new thing,” Sirius shrugged and seemed somehow so _open_. It was as though this was the final gate opening to him truly being himself. 

Remus eyed both James and Sirius who were expecting an answer, “I mean I just don’t understand it all too well. I’m not sure how I can like girls and Sirius at the same time. Isn’t it one or the other?”

“Mate do I look like a queer dictionary to you? There’s probably some term for it.” James said while using a silent spell to clean up the plate and food he’d dropped only minutes ago. 

Remus hummed and smiled for a moment, “Yeah, I suppose. Could you not tell Peter? I wasn’t even ready for you to know yet seeing as I’ve only just figured it out myself.” 

“Just figured it out? You didn’t exactly _look_ like an amateur...“ James grinned and lightly hit Remus on the arm who pinched the bridge of his nose to hide his red face.

——

Remus couldn’t sleep that night, too much had happened within the past couple hours that his head was spinning. If James hadn’t come into the room and interrupted them, how far would they have gotten? The mere thought made Remus even more awake than he was before. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, trying desperately to get the images out of his mind. Flopping back down on his back and staring up at the top of his curtained bed, he heard a noise from the far left side of the room. Slow footsteps slowly made their way over to Remus and the curtain was pulled back to conveniently reveal Sirius. Sirius nodded his head towards the bed, inviting himself onto it. Remus looked around at James and Peter who were sound asleep and nodded. Sirius muttered a silent _‘muffliato’_ around the curtains then hopped into the bed to the right of Remus. 

“Do you need something?” Remus asked despite already knowing the answer. Sirius nodded vigorously and breathed in deeply. 

“Is this—are we some kind of thing now?” He asked with a twinge of hope lacing his question. 

“If you want us to be,”

“Well of course I do, I made the first move didn’t I?”

Remus couldn’t see Sirius’s face very well but he knew he was smiling. He put a hand near his cheek and softly stroked it with his thumb, causing Sirius to nearly melt. Sirius leaned in and pressed his lips back onto Remus’s, only softer and shorter this time. It didn’t feel as needy and desperate but more loving and velvety. Remus pressed his nose against Sirius’s neck and breathed in deeply, taking in his scent. It didn’t seem real that just a few hours ago he couldn’t have been able to be with Sirius like he was now. He supposed that being queer on top everything else in his life couldn’t be so bad if it felt like this.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how to write at all so I hope this wasn't terrible, thanks!


End file.
